I’ve been struggling to find the time or energy to write lately and I don’t know why. I had such a good thing going for four or five months where I’d write every day, even if it was only 100 words. I’d like to get into that habit again, carve out my own little space and sink into it for a while, block out all the extra noise, extra stress.
It’s irritating that my mood depends so much on my surroundings. The light has to be just right, there can’t be any noise (for a while I was using noise-cancelling headphones until my boyfriend commandeered them for work), and I have to be comfortable, but not too comfortable… And my phone has to be off. So being a mother of two young kids, you can see how this is difficult. Even now, I put on Thomas the Tank Engine for them in the living room and they both followed me into the dining room. Shoshi’s scaling the chairs and Henry is talking me through playing the “quiet game.”
They’re stinkers and I love them.
So I need to wake up earlier – however that’s only difficult because Shoshi senses that I’m not laying beside her just as I’ve had the coffee made and I’m getting comfortable on the couch.
So then I’d like to sneak off to the library for an hour, but then something always happens.
I know part of it is that I’m that in that frustrating middle of two stories that I am just not excited about anymore because it’s not coming as easily now.
Ugh, I hope this all makes sense because I have two kids yelling at me right now, so… I suppose I’ll try again later, yeah?